so it all started with the reading of this book. i'm a little over half way through it, and honestly, not enjoying all of it...but i am, surprisingly, getting something out of it.
long story short the author decides at 30 that she no longer wants to be married because she doesn't want to be a mom and goes through a nasty divorce. after a few years of trying to sort through life, she decides to take a year and travel to italy where she eats...india where she prays...and indonesia where she loves.
what has spoken to me most was a conversation she had in italy about her word...just one word that sums up who she is. of course, she doesn't know what her word is...and as i read it i wondered what mine would be.
so i began to pray. WHAT WOULD MY WORD BE?
what did i get back? NURTURER. now this surprised me. but let's think about it. i looked up the definition...the process of caring for and encouraging the growth and development of someone or something. ok, i do that. seems to match up with what i would consider my giftings to be. ok, that works.
and then i heard this...dayna, you nurture everyone but yourself...
but that's ok, right? i'm ok and happy when people around me are happy. that's enough.
but is it? i'm not so sure. i admit, i'm still new at this mom stuff, and i'm not trying to say i've lost myself already, but i think it has been a long time since i've been able to say that i did something for me, or let someone else do something for me, and not feel guilty about it.
which in all honestly...kinda sucks...and i don't think it's healthy.
so my new month's resolution (since it's almost a new month) is to swim. i love swimming. have always loved swimming, but have never been able to let myself pay the exhorbant amount of money it costs to swim in pasadena.
but with a little bit of anniversary money and my hubby's blessing...
i'm starting small...and excited to see what comes of it.
